Getting Organized
What Is a Letter of Instruction — and Why Everyone Needs One
A letter of instruction is one of the most important documents you can leave behind. Here's what it is, what goes in it, and how to write one.
Most people know they need a will. Far fewer have ever heard of a letter of instruction — which is a shame, because it may be the single most practical document you can leave your family.
While a will tells your family what you want done with your assets, a letter of instruction tells them how to do it. It's the roadmap, not the destination.
What Is a Letter of Instruction?
A letter of instruction (sometimes called a personal instruction letter, side letter, or side memorandum) is a non-legal document that you write to accompany your will and estate plan. It provides your family with:
- Practical information they'll need immediately after you die
- The location of your important documents
- A list of your financial accounts, insurance policies, and debts
- Your wishes for things a will doesn't easily cover — your funeral, your pets, your digital accounts
- Personal messages to the people you love
Because it's not a legal document, it doesn't need to be witnessed or notarized. It can be written in plain language, updated easily, and as long or as short as you need it to be. That flexibility is what makes it so powerful.
What's the Difference Between a Will and a Letter of Instruction?
Think of a will as the legal blueprint and a letter of instruction as the contractor's notes. They work together:
- Your will says: "I leave my house to my daughter Sarah."
- Your letter of instruction says: "The deed is in the fireproof safe in my closet. The mortgage is with First National Bank, account ending in 4421. The realtor I always worked with is James Chen — his number is 555-0100."
A will without a letter of instruction leaves your executor with a legal document but no roadmap. A letter of instruction without a will is helpful but not legally binding. Together, they cover both what you want and how to carry it out.
What to Include in Your Letter of Instruction
Immediate priorities
The first section should cover what your family needs to do in the hours and days right after you die:
- Who to notify first (family members, close friends, employer)
- The name and number of your attorney
- Where your will and other legal documents are located
- Your wishes for your funeral or memorial — including whether you've pre-arranged anything and with which funeral home
- Organ donation wishes
Financial accounts
For each bank, investment, and retirement account: the institution name, account type, approximate value, and how to contact them. You don't need to include passwords — and you shouldn't.
Insurance policies
Life insurance is especially important here. List each policy, the insurance company, policy number, and the death benefit amount. Many families discover life insurance policies they didn't know existed — or worse, miss claiming them entirely.
Real estate and major property
Where deeds are stored, who holds the mortgage, vehicle titles, storage units, and safe deposit boxes (including where the key is).
Digital life
A list of your online accounts — email, social media, streaming services, cloud storage — and your wishes for each. Your family needs to know these exist so they can cancel subscriptions, preserve memories, or close accounts appropriately. (Do not include passwords in this document.)
Debts
What you owe and to whom. This helps your executor settle your estate efficiently and prevents creditors from surprising your family.
Your people
The names and contact information for your attorney, accountant, financial advisor, and doctor. The name of your executor, and where to find that person.
Personal messages and wishes
This is where the letter of instruction becomes something truly irreplaceable. You can write directly to the people you love — things you want them to know, things you hope for them, memories you want them to carry. These aren't legally binding. But they're often the most treasured part of what someone leaves behind.
What a Letter of Instruction Cannot Do
A letter of instruction is not legally binding. It cannot:
- Override your will
- Change who inherits your assets
- Name a guardian for your children (that must be in your will)
- Create legal obligations for anyone
For anything that needs to be legally enforceable, work with an estate planning attorney to include it in your will or trust.
How to Write One
You don't need a lawyer. You don't need a special form. You need:
- A clear head and a few hours
- Access to your financial statements and documents
- A format — a Word document, a PDF, or a dedicated tool
Work through each category. Write in plain language. Be specific — "the blue binder in my desk drawer" is more useful than "in my office." Update it when things change.
Then put it somewhere accessible: a fireproof safe, with your attorney, or stored securely in a digital service your family knows about. And tell at least one trusted person it exists.
Frequently Asked Questions
Does a letter of instruction need to be notarized?
No. Because it's not a legal document, it doesn't need witnesses, notarization, or any formal process. That's one of the things that makes it easy to create and update.
Can I include personal messages to my family?
Absolutely — and you should. A letter of instruction can include anything from practical information to heartfelt personal notes. Many people write a separate farewell letter for each family member and store them alongside the practical information.
Where should I store my letter of instruction?
Somewhere accessible to your trusted person or executor — not locked in a safe deposit box that requires a death certificate to open (which creates a catch-22). Common options: a fireproof safe at home, with your attorney, or in a secure digital service with clear access instructions.
How often should I update it?
Review it at least once a year, and update it any time you open or close a financial account, buy or sell property, get married or divorced, or have a child. Outdated information can be worse than none at all if it sends your family on a wild goose chase.
Ready to get organized?
AmberLetters makes it simple.
Collect everything your family will need to know — accounts, wishes, property, and the letters only you can write — then generate a beautiful PDF for your attorney and loved ones.